Pros and cons of the “Thursday office party"

Pros:-

- Getting to leave work early. Whatever the excuse is leaving work early is always a big plus!

- Free bar – need I say more?!

-  …Okay, past the above two points, I’m kinda struggling here.

Cons

- Friday morning hangovers...*bleurgh!*  Hangovers should be spent in bed, not at your desk in front of your computer pretending to work and doing anything to get rid of that gnawing feeling in your head.

- Ridiculous end of the week meetings.  I’ve somehow developed the ability to nod and smile while tuning out everything that’s being said to me.

- Too sick to drink coffee and too tired to stay awake. There’s no winning with this situation.-  Other people who were out with you and seemed as drunk as you were but are somehow absolutely fine on Friday – and they insist on showing this off!

Unlike the above, I actually went back to work still drunk (the hangover slowly and surely in a few hours) and once I found myself almost going to kiss my director (at 8.30am!) I figured it was probably time to go to the loo and have a little sober-up-nap else I was pretty sure I’d be jobless by the end of the day. Official verdict – I detest “Thursday office parties”!

Sweet like chocolate

So remember when I said in this post here that there was some juicy office Christmas gossip where some intern slept with her manager? This happened long before I joined the company, by the way and I finally found out who the intern was today (albeit inadvertently). I think I have one of those kinda faces that people just feeling like opening up to regardless of whether I wanna hear it or not. Or maybe it’s my natural ‘gossip allure’ that draws them in… Who knows? Hehehe!

Anyway, I was have a mega lazy day in the office today  (Happy Hump Day folks!) and figured it was ‘chocolate-o’-clock’ so went for a little wander to the vending machines with one of the girls I’m working on a project with.

We were nattering away when she decided to open up to me and tell me about this ‘affair’. My ears pricked and I suddenly perked up! (Oh did I mention how much I love gossip? Not to spread, just to listen to). 

So it turns out the manager was single back then, they’d fancied each other and they did sleep with each other that night of the Christmas party and many nights after that (“Oooohhh juicy” I thought). They were in a relationship but things were kinda strained between them and they were ‘on/off’……bla bla bla... At this point I was thinking probably the exact same thing you are now.“Dear goodness! This is boring!!! Does this even qualify as gossip? Is this what I’d been waiting ages to hear about?” 

Of course I didn’t say this out loud to her! Even I am not that stupid…lol! Talk about over-promising and under-delivering!!! Okay, they were in a relationship and had relationship problems – nothing unusual/exciting there. I wanted ‘Basic Instinct’ shenanigans not ‘Coronation Street’/’Days Of Our Lives’ storylines. *sigh* Back to work I go… I paid for my chocolates and headed back to my desk. Figured I’d treat myself to two chocolate bars instead of one to make up for the disappointing story – actually,  who am I kidding? Lol! I was gonna have two anyway…

Awkward!!!

Rule of thumb! When you’re having a conversation with some one (or a group of people) and you suddenly smell someone’s farted – ignore it! Never ever acknowledge it or this could end up being one of the most awkward conversations ever. Last week at work, the exact thing happened to me (And before you ask - No, I did not fart, someone else did...lol).

I would typically ignore this except the smell kept getting stronger and stronger and I just had to stop and say something – though half out of fear that they’d think it was me (don’t ask why! I have no idea…lol). I asked if anyone else could smell it and everyone else said they couldn’t at which point I let out a nervous laugh/shriek (way to go banshee) and said maybe it was all in my mind.

The conversation after that was painful as one of the girls I was talking to thought it could have been the fact that she had been soaked in the rain on her way in and her coat might smell a bit funky (you know – that ‘wet dog’ smell though I knew that was not what I could smell). The conversation just went painful and awkward from then on with me trying to pretend I hadn’t smelt anything in the first place... *cringes* Never again… *shakes head* Never…

Meet the colleagues

Right! As you all know, I just started working recently and I figured I’d give you guys a little taster of some of the more 'interesting' people I work with. Without further ado – meet the colleagues:-

Tee (not her real name of course): Fantastic lady! The best of the bunch! Nice, vivacious and very hard working. She’s shaved off her eyebrows and painted them back on almost about an inch too high so she constantly has a surprised look on her face. Down to earth and most likely to cover up for you if you off “sick” (i.e. can’t come in due to massive hangover… not that I’d ever do that…again - Disclaimer: I've never done that in this new job!)

Eff (also not her real name, okay, by this point, I’m sure you’ll have figured out that I’m not gonna use people’s real names): Irritating, pretentious with rare moments of brilliance. The kind of person who has an inane ability to say the most stupid things all the time and yet every so often comes up with fantastic joke/comment that draws you back in. At least with her you’ll never be ambivalent.

Pee1: Crazy crazy crazy crazy (did I mention crazy) Irish guy! The things he comes up with are insane. Most likely to get you in trouble (unintentionally might I add!). Still it’s always a welcome type of trouble! Needs to figure out what’s appropriate to wear to the office though (white blazer, bright green shirt and shiny silver trousers are NOT appropriate office wear!). Saying that, I always look forward to seeing what he wears to the office. Makes a refreshing change in the sea of Black and Grey suits.

Pee2: Quiet office mouse… that is till you get a drink or two down her and suddenly, she has a potty mouth that would make even the maddest sailor blush. Why is it the quiet ones that are always full of surprises? And after her fifth drink, she’ll tell you things about sex you never knew existed or were even possible! In between sporadic fits of laughter, I have make occasional trips to the bathroom to write some of it down. It’s like sexual comedy gold. (Bet she thinks I have a weak bladder with the amount of times I have run off to the bathroom laughing…) She’s smaller than Kylie Minogue so takes very little for her to get drunk… (Lucky cow!)

Bee: Office bore. Tells the most awful, sleep-inducing stories ever! I have actually nodded off while he was talking to me once. Thankfully, I don’t think he noticed… now that I think of it, I kinda wish he did. At least maybe he’d get the message and stop coming over to tell me tales of his great ‘pumpkin weekend’. On the plus side, he’s a genuinely nice guy so as long as he doesn’t insist on recounting old tales, generally nice to be around.

Aay: Moaner… You could almost see a dark cloud hanging around his head every day! I find this tedious and avoid at all costs.

Boss Lady: Hardly ever in the office so hard to tell what she’s like. All I know is she has a crazy hyena laugh which you can head across the entire office but generally seems like a nice lady. I hear she’s the office gossip queen which makes sense as the first thing she ever said to me was how some intern from the years ago slept with her old manager at the office Christmas party and the intern is now back here full time. (I fully intend on finding out who said intern is!!! I’ve already figured out who her old manager is… And as I said before, I’ll never actively spread office gossip but I’ll be damned if I’m gonna miss hearing about it!!!)

That’s it so far. Still new so still finding my way around and getting to know more people. Needless to say, I’ll keep you all posted!!! Till next time…