Case of the ex

Hi everyone… September has been so hectic you would not believe!  So I mentioned in my last post (see here) that I was gonna be meeting up with my ex who was visiting London. Thankfully I was able to get out of work on time to meet up with him and it was a strangely surreal yet insightful experience. Basically, I haven’t seen him properly since I left Wales so I was worried it would be awkward and was pleasantly surprised to find that it was very far from this. We had a good catch up over dinner and it was so nice to hang out with him. I was having such a great time with him that I actually kinda started having slight “I-miss-you pangs”. When we were together we’d had such a laugh…*sigh*

After dinner we decided to go to a bar for a few drinks and on the walk over to the bar he broke the bombshell to me. He was engaged to be married. The girl is someone I knew from home, nice girl (the sort that would make a great wife – whatever that mean… *scratches head* lol). I was pleased for him (and her too, I guess). I congratulated him and did the usual spiel you do when a friend tells you they’re engaged… Wish them well….etc…Definitely not screaming out loud “Oh Damn!!! When will it be my turn!!!”…Hehehe! Truth be told, I’m not that fascinated with getting married soon. I will eventually but right now, I’m absolutely happy with where I am because its where I wanna be (that almost sounded like I was trying to convince myself! Lol!)

Anyway, as the evening progressed, we keep on swapping war stories about our little old town and then (get this!)… he leans in to kiss me. I SOOOOOOOO DIDN’T SEE THAT ONE COMING! I dodged the kiss like a turkey would (or rather, should) dodge the farmer at Christmas time. I simply refuse to be that girl. Don’t get me wrong, whatever anyone does with someone else is their prerogative (we’re all adults here) but it’s just not for me. The only married (or almost married) man I’d ever hook up with no guilt or regret would be Brad Pitt (Yes, after all these years I still have a HUGE crush on him. In fact, I think it’s bigger than a crush – he may just be the one. Lol! He’ll always have a special place in my heart… hehehehehe!)…. Lets all take a minute to enjoy his awesomeness…

Right, so where was I? Yeah, he tried to kiss me and I swear any “I-miss-you pangs” went in that instant. He’s a great lad but come on! I didn’t know whether to be insulted or flattered (insulted because he did exactly the same thing to me when we were together, flattered because well, I’m obviously so irresistible to him – LOL! I’m kidding!!!! I don’t have an ego that inflated!) Anyway, I made it very clear where I stood and that I wished him the best but he had to get his sh*t together. He went on and on about how confused he was seeing me here and having such a great time… bla bla bla! Honestly, I tuned out after a while (I have a special talent for tuning out!). I just don’t buy stories like that. Getting with someone else is not a way to sort out ones problem – in fact, it more than likely just adds to the problem. After a few minutes I made my excuses and left.

I have to admit, I did leave with a somewhat inappropriate sense of exhilaration – Good riddance, eh!!!

Oh and because this post wouldn’t be complete without a phone picture of what I had for dinner I had to add the picture below! Lol! Okay, it would have been complete but I’ve been eating healthy lately and I just had to show it off!!!

Catch ya later folks!

Why the "big move"? - Pt 2

Right! Back to Thom... When I got back, things were seemed okay between Thom and I for a few months till I got invited to a “girls night” out in town. I usually steer clear of all that as it almost always ends up in a huge fight or someone crying about her boyfriend/life/other random crap. This is not stereotyping all girls nights, far from actually; this is just the case with this group of girls in particular. I was working ridiculous hours at work and was generally feeling kinda bored with my social life so I figured, “Hey, why not?”. The night went off to a good start… until “she” walked in! “She” aka “Chelle” aka “The Village Bicycle” was some obnoxious little twat (pardon my French) whose sense of self esteem seemed to be heavily reliant on the number of men she slept with (I imagine 5 a day was required for reasonable amounts of self esteem each day. Any less and she could not function – okay, I am being cruel here but I really can’t stand her). In the past, I used to love hearing her tell sex stories, they were outrageous – especially the one where she forgot the anal beads in her asshole after sex (… How????!!!!Why????!!!). She really went down in my estimations though the year before she tried to pawn off her new baby on 5 different guys (one of which was a distant cousin of mine) claiming they were the father of her child (not all at once, mind! One after the other). Worst thing is, I think she only stopped at 5 because the 5^th guy agreed that it was his (silly sod). Till date, no one is really sure who the baby’s father is.  Anyway, I digress… so Chelle comes in and in typical fashion starts talking about the guys she’s been with and what they like to do in bed and in the midst of my shock and horror (and secret delight at all these outrageous stories), she described a certain penis which sounded vaguely familiar. I pressed for more info and by the time she mentioned the odd egg-shaped mole on said person’s pert bum – I knew she was talking about Thom. My heart skipped a beat. Could it really be? Stupid cow knew I was in a relationship with Thom too! Manipulative bitch!

I pretend-laughed, all the while fuming inside and then I made my excuses and went straight to Thom’s house to confront him. I don’t know if out of respect for me or because he didn’t care of he hurt my feelings (I choose to go with the former) but he didn’t deny it. Apparently they’d shagged quite a few times when I was away at Uni but now that I was back, he was all mine and would never do it again. He asked me to forgive him and I suppose I could have possibly-maybe-potentially thought about doing so till I realised since this revelation, the only emotion I had been feeling was a strange sense of exhilaration. I finally had an excuse to break-up with him. And it was then it hit me, this relationship had fizzled out ages ago (perhaps even after the first night, who knows). It was all I could do to stop from giggling out loud when I told him it was over Awkward! My face was so contorted I’m sure I looked like a banshee who needed to use the toilet desperately.

I was so relieved. Finally! And then for a brief instant, I remember that he had cheated on me while we were together and with none other than Chelle The Village Bicycle and for a brief instant I was furious again but this was quickly washed over by the happiness I had from being free!

A few months after that little incident with Thom, I had another epiphany – why was I working for a little above minimum wage in a job that was leading nowhere??? I am a bit impulsive but I really trust my instincts and I walked right into work the next day and quit. So you see with no job and no man, I figured, it’s time to go out and experience something new. I had a degree in Ethnomusicology and I was going to conquer the world one step at a time. I would move to New York and be the next Lady Gaga. Actually scratch that, you need talent for that… and also, London is closer than New York so maybe I’d start with London first. I’d just be like one of those successful women who had it all – fantastic careers, lovely apartment, cute pets (I’m thinking a French bulldog or a pug) and an even cuter boyfriend/lover. And just like that, I decided to move to London!

Till next time…

Why the "big move"? - Pt 1

Right! So where was I?  Oh yeah, I was describing myself… Actually, I think I’ve pretty much covered it. There are other aspects of my life I guess I could try to describe but I’m sure you’ll get to know more that as time goes on.

Next question then? Why the “big move” to London???

Okay, after University I decided to move back home with my parents. In fairness to me, I was living rent-free and I already had a part-time summer job here so making the transition to full time member of staff was pretty easy. All of these reasons pale in comparison to the one big reason – Thom! For those of you who don’t know Thom, he’s got the big brown eyes, 6”1 height, perma-tanned from being outdoors a lot and kinda good looking in a “knocked-around-the-rugby-field-a-bit-too-much” way (okay, that’s not the best description ever but you get the general idea).  And his bum! Oh that bum was one of the first things I noticed about him, actually scratch that – it was THE first thing I noticed about him.

We met through mutual friends at a party so after a brilliant night at the party (and a sore neck from not-so-subtly craning to catch an ample view of his bum each time he stood up or walked past), we decided to meet up again. Retrospectively, not one of my smartest ideas as it turns out I may have been wearing my “beer goggles” that night. What is in alcohol that makes people seem more attractive the more drunk you get? It’s probably the same thing that made me think I was just like (or even better than) Beyonce the night before. Anyway, we became an item though in retrospect this was probably more out of convenience than any real chemistry. The sex wasn’t too bad either. At least, I thought so at the time. He was the first guy I’d slept with so I didn’t have much else to compare with. I’d love to say there were fireworks and I passed out from the most intense and fantastic orgasm ever but that would be the biggest lie I’ve ever told.

Okay, gotta stop here. After years of “being good’ and resisting Eastenders, I’ve finally been sucked in again. I’m blaming this on the explosive gay story line (the two actors here are hot!), the weird marriage thingymajig about to happen, the train crash (oh wait, that’s Coronation street) and the “power slap” that I this very second just witnessed this lady give her husband. It just overwhelmed me and I need to know more. Will be back with more of an update soon!

Muchos gracias